Thursday, May 26, 2011

Stay, Little One, stay.

I read this passage yesterday in Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts and I can't stop thinking about it...


My baby is five.  She falls asleep in my arms after the close of dinner prayers, us still seated at table, and I hold her long after the Farmer has put the rest of the tribe to bed, her curls damp and etching into my skin and I don't move.  Her face is turned toward mine, broad and open, eyelashes whisper of gold.  I trace her lips, gentle curve of all things beautiful.  The way her eyes danced today, soul light, the arch of her eyebrows and that lyrical laugh, heaven's echo that entirely undoes me.  Her breath is warm on my face, all that is alive and warm and breathing inside of her now, falling upon me, and I can't capture it, hold it, this, her life now, me in this moment.  She is leaving me, she's growing up and moving away from me and she stirs and I sweep back the crop of the golden ringlets.  Stay, Little One, stay.  Love's a deep wound and what is a mother without a child and why can't I hold on to now forever and her here and me here and why does time snatch away a heart I don't think mine can beat without?  Why do we all have to grow old?  Why do we have to keep saying good-bye?

She so beautifully puts to words all that's been in my heart for Cooper these past few months.  Since Cooper began doing anything more than just laying swaddled on a blanket, I've been struggling to let him grow, develop, change.  I just want to hold on to him, just as he is now, forever.  I know I can't have that- and I do anticipate and embrace all that he will do and become in his lifetime, I just treasure him this way, my precious baby boy.  Cooper is dealing with his 17th day of illness- a cold that turned into an ear infection and bronchiolitis (with two teeth coming in, to boot!)  He's been such a trooper and smiled through most of it- but who can blame him for the times that he gets fussy?!  During most of his nap times, the only sure-fire way to get him to sleep is to rock and sing to him.  And some of the time, I just hold him during his entire nap.  What could be more important that this moment and this beautiful gift from the Lord right in front of me?  This afternoon as I rocked him, I thought about Ann's words and tried to memorize his sweet face... the way his eyelashes curl, so long and dark against his milky skin... his golden waves of hair that remind me of silken thread from a fairy tale... his round, happy cheeks that must have already experienced a million kisses... his chubby little hands, always balled up in fists, but now relaxed... the smell of his milky breath and his little pouty lip.  I wouldn't change a single thing about this boy and I want to freeze him in my mind this way.

If I feel this way about my son, I can't help but think of the depths of the love of the Father for us- for me.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1

During ATS, we watched a video called "The Father Heart of God," by John Dawson.  He says, "No matter what you do or become in the eyes of the world, you will never cease to be anything more than a babe in your Father's arms."  Isn't that the truth?  Cooper has not done anything for me and still I couldn't love him more.  My love for him isn't based on the fact that he is the most beautiful baby in the entire world- or the fact that he is filled with such indescribable joy and delight- or the fact that one day he is going to be a valiant man who points the way to Jesus.  It's because he came from me.  He looks like me.  He was the overflow of marital love. And I adore this child with everything in me!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Mini

Last week Coop and I met my dad in College Station for lunch.  Naturally, Cooper NEEDED a trip to Toys-R-Us, because he's so into toys and all...
But a kid can dream, right?

Silhouette Tote Bag

I didn't get the "good gift giver" bone.  My sister did, and always comes up with the most thoughtful and creative gifts.  This year at Christmas, she gave me some beautiful aqua earrings because "they would make my eyes sparkle and make my hair shine like a mermaid."  Todd has had a few strikeouts in terms of gifts, but it's mostly home runs for him.  One time when we were dating, I casually mentioned that I'd always wanted a KitchenAid mixer and he got a huge group together to buy that $300 bad boy for me!  Then there was that time that he wrapped up the most beautiful diamond engagement ring that I'd ever seen and gave it to me on Christmas...  My mom is an incredibly generous gift giver- she LOVES showering people with gifts big and small.  And not only that, but she's not really "attached" to her belongings.  Last weekend, I felt like I practically stole a turquoise ring right off her finger!  I told her I liked it, and she said, "oh here.. you have it.  I never wear it." Even though she was wearing it RIGHT THEN!

I always WANT to give good gifts, and sometimes I think I do, but then there are just some holidays (ahem... Mother's Day) that just sneak up on me and I feel like my gift ends up falling short.  But not this year!  I actually feel really proud of the gift I will give to my mom this Mother's Day.

It's this Silhouette Tote Bag:


I used my new sewing skills and my old ironing skills to whip up this baby!  I sewed together the scarf (after the lady at the store cut the pieces to the right length and then marked off the diagonal for me, which was nice).  And then I made a little Silhouette of sweet Cooper's chunky little face.  Cooper got to go on the bag since he's the favorite kid anyways.

I was surprised that I was even able to get his lips in the picture, since his cheeks are so fluffy.
Making the bag was EASY!
Here's what you need:
-A canvas tote bag (mine was from Marshall's)
-Fusible web (Wonder Under)
-Fabric for your silhouette

First thing you do is take a picture of your little beauty.  I had to prop up some toys to get him to look up.  You might need to crop/zoom in on your picture once you are viewing it on your computer.  I played around with a few sizes before I got it to a size that I liked.  Then, print out your photo on cardstock.  Next, trace the outline of the cardstock silhouette with a dark pen so that you will be able to see through the transparent fusible web paper.  Next, trace the design onto the fusible web.  The directions for the fusible web might be a little different, but with mine, I ironed it to the wrong side of my fabric.  Lastly, I stuck it to the canvas bag and ironed it on.  SO SIMPLE!  I suppose I could top stitch the design to the bag, but I might mess that up, so it's best to leave it alone :)

And for once, it's a Mother's Day gift that I feel really proud of and really excited to give my incredibly deserving, inspiring, creative, and loving mom!

Sidenote- this Mother's Day is going to be extra special because we are dedicating my precious butterball, Cooper, to the Lord on Sunday.  That makes this Mama's heart VERY happy.